Cuck Fancer

Yes, it’s written correctly. Cuck Fancer. I have ordered the bracelets that I have been talking about for a while now and they will say Cuck Fancer. Props to Dylan Campbell for that one. I will get them in a couple weeks so let me know if you are interested in helping me raise some money for Lymphoma and we can work something out. Anyways chemo was interesting this past week. It pretty much sucked. I had new symptoms. When I woke up the next day I was nauseous, which isn’t a big deal with the medication I’ve been given,. but Saturday, 48 hours later, was horrible. I was completely uncomfortable all day. I was achy, feverish, I had lost all feeling in my mouth, my taste buds were shot to shit and it hurt to swallow.  I was way dehydrated and it sucked.  I spent the next day recovering from the previous day and by Monday I had forgotten I had cancer. The whole thing is strange.I think the 24-72 hours after chemo is going to be the worse. After that, I’m just living a normal life. I went last Thursday to get my blood count and it was very high, in the 30 thousands (normal 4-10 thousand). But we figured out through talking with the doctor that my blood count will normally be that high because of the Nupagen (a shot that I take that boosts my white blood count), and it only really matters how high it is on the day of chemo. I can’t really be under two thousand and be given treatment. My first time on Nupagen I had 13,000 white blood cells and on the day of chemo I had 2,800. It drops fast: damn chemo. So check it out: I go to get my blood count last Thursday, and the doctor asked my mom if she had her flu shot, and she said no, so he offered one on the house. I’m thinking wow, he’s so nice, and when he leaves to go get the nurse, my mom curls up into a ball and whimpers, “I almost said no, I hate shots.” O man, you want to know the look that I gave her. The look that says are you fucking kidding me, man up, I have had over 60 shots, in 20 different places, for the past month, and you’re complaining about a flu shot. BABY! Ah did I give her a hard time. But I still love her. She woke me up last Saturday morning, 2 days after chemo and said I got you a surprise, and the first thing I said was “a hooker?” Don’t ask me why, but it wasn’t. ☹ She did get me the new OS for Mac. Maybe better? My Halloween was bomb. I didn’t think I would do anything but I got dressed up as a nerd and went out and partied with the rest of my friends. Before the last round of chemo I drove up to Santa Barbara for a night and hung out with some close friends that I hadn’t seen in awhile and had a really good time. It’s hard to believe I have cancer sometimes because I am living such a normal life. In fact I just signed up for a winter class at Pierce College: Linguistics. It seems interesting and it is a 5-week crash course over winter break. I will follow that by a heavier load in the spring. Don’t worry guys, this shit will come together and my brain won’t go to complete mush with all the T.V.  I’m watching. Just to be sure I’m reading Lance Armstrong’s book, It’s not about the bike. It’s truly inspiring and really interesting. The Lakers just started their season and football is heating up like my head the day after chemo. I love it. Thanks again to everyone for your support. I fucking love all of you.

(I would say the Jewish Mr. Clean, but I haven’t lost my hair yet, wtF?!)

Yours truly, Makin’ Cancer my bitch,

Ben