Cuck Fancer

The show, Stand Up To Cancer, was amazing! I had the best time. I could not believe how many celebrities showed up to support this cause. More then ever, I’ve come to realize how many lives have been affected by cancer, either enduring it or watching a loved one go through it. It is all around us. It’s true, 1in 3 people will be affected and for me to be part of something so large is really humbling. I remember when the SU2C website launched in May, there was so much hype, and the SU2C people really delivered. If you were watching I’m sure you were as impressed as I was. From May up until now, they have raised over 100 million dollars towards cancer research. It is unbelievable! The best part for me was having many of the celebrities wear my Cuck Fancer wristband during the show, which was so cool. When I went home to watch what I recorded, I couldn’t help but count all the green bracelets. Having Jack Black, Billy Crystal, Ellen Degeneres, Chris Tucker, Charles Barkley, Christina Applegate and many more wear my wristband meant a lot to me. Sharing my story with them and them sharing their story with me felt good and it is something that I will always cherish. I want to say thank you all for the ongoing support I feel and lets keep fighting this fight, and put an end to all this suffering. Check out some of these pictures I got!

Hey guys,

I know it has been awhile, but I have some recent news that I want to share with all of you. First off, I am doing great. I am still in remission and everything is going perfectly. As you know, a documentary was made of me by SU2C (Stand Up To Cancer). I am not sure if you guys have been following this website, but it is huge. They have made so many PA’s with famous people to promote SU2C that airs September 5th. Their PA’s have been in the movie theatres and Jessica Biel mentioned the website at the MLB All-Star game. When I was first introduced to SU2C, even I didn’t realize how big this event/organization was going to be. I have my own-featured video, which they posted on their website and then on YouTube to promote the event, and once in awhile it got a few hits but today, Sunday, SU2C made it the featured video on YouTube and it has over 100,000 views and comments! I am totally shocked.

If you don’t already know, they are airing a collaborative show on September 5th 8 p.m. on channels 2, 4 and 7 to raise awareness and money. At the same time, the Kodak theatre will be hosting a star filled event where there will also be a phone bank. I was asked to be a part of this phone bank along with many celebrities. Some of the celebrities include: Jessica Alba, Scarlet Johansson, Jennifer Anniston, Forrest Whitaker, etc. It is pretty insane. I may get a makeup artist, a stylist, and I will be on T.V. answering the phones! I do not even know what to expect, but hopefully I won’t get too star struck. I am still working on a website, because now there are countless groups of people that want my bracelets. I feel honored to be able to make this type of contribution in the fight to end cancer and I hope all of you will join me in watching this incredible event.

Don’t forget to watch the show on September 5th at 8 p.m.!!!!!!

Without all of you, I would have not been able to do half of the things I am doing today.

With love,

Ben

Hey guys…long time no talk:

here is a quick update:

I am now in my 9th week at UC Irvine and it has been pretty amazing and hard all at the same time. The hard part has been going from lots
of hanging around the house not doing too much to lots of reading,
taking midterms, writing papers and did I say LOTS of reading…don’t
get me started on the prospect of taking finals…oy vey. The amazing
part has been meeting new people, being on my own, embracing a new
lifestyle and being somewhat FREE from the details of cancer. Which
brings me to why I’m writing now. I’m not sure if you remember me
writing in my last blog about a documentary I was asked to participate
in called, Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C) but a group came to my house and
shot about 8 hours of film, compiled it into 3 minutes that documented
my fundraising efforts (our fundraising efforts). It was for a larger
project / documentary slated to air on television! I’m not sure if you
heard about it yet, but it was on the Today show yesterday. This
organization Stand Up to Cancer is HUGE! Now when I say huge, I mean
like the population of China huge. It is going to air on CBS, NBC and
ABC on September 5th all at the same time! And it has a whole agenda,
mission statement and is intended to change the way we fund, research
and share cancer dollars. This website launched today and is intended
to build up to the documentary in September. So for now the goal is to
get as many people involved in this website as possible AND my
documentary is on it! I have even created a Cuck Fancer team that I
want all of you to join. Nobody has to donate because we have already
done plenty of that, but to become a member of my team would be
awesome. It is really simple and I think it is important to be part of
something so important that may change the way we deal with cancer.
And definitely check out Larry David’s piece, he is hilarious. Go to:

1. http://www.standup2cancer.org/
2. Go to the link that says SUTV at the top
3. Go to Insight
4. Click Cuck Fancer and see ME! (I’m right under Charlie Gibson)

If you want to join my team here’s how you do it.

1. Click on Get Involved
2. The teams (They are going to ask you to register and log in. It
might be a little hectic…but it is worth it). You can join a baseball
team if you would like but you do not have to. After you register go
back to the teams.

3. It is a public team, and if you can’t find it I recommend pressing
ctrl+f and just typing in cuck fancer.
4. Then just click the join button on the bottom.

It is going to be so cool because my goal is to have the most members
on my team. Money does not matter; it’s all about the support. I want
people who do not even know me to join my team. Remember: just like
all of you have told me, it’s all about the support. I want other kids
to feel like they can relate to me.

This link might help: http://www.standup2cancer.org/mysu2c/team/view/527

Just a side note. I am in remission and consulting with several
doctors about the possibility of needing to begin radiation therapy.
Not something I’m looking forward to and a bit frustrated with the
lack of consensus amongst the doctors.

Besides that: life is peaches.

Enjoy the documentary and know that I would not have been able to do
this without you. All of you gave me the confidence to put myself out
there and this is a TEAM EFFORT!

Cuck Fancer would not be here without you.

I made it my bitch: and it always will be

I love you all.

Ben

Here we are, finally, finished. No more treatments. No more doctor appointments every Thursday. No more feeling like shit. It feels like just yesterday I walked into the infusion room and decided to write a blog. That was almost 6 months ago. What a ride. This last treatment wasn’t so bad. It had its normal ups and downs, well not really any ups. But I consider not throwing up and being able to sleep the day away an up. I had my normal throat, head, and body aches, but it was one of those weekends where I couldn’t wait for it to be over mostly because I knew it was my last one like this. I was a little bit emotional during the treatment; it was hard not to be. A normal life seemed so far away before and here it was right around the corner. Can that be?? Unfortunately, when it ended I caught that flu bug that’s going around and I am still a little under the weather. I’m not really complaining because it isn’t chemo and I still feel fine, it just a little annoying.

During that last week of chemo while I was recovering, I was also running a spring camp with my best friend CJ and that was fun, but def. a little bit stressful. I enjoyed the responsibility and the hard work because I haven’t had to work much lately, so it felt good to get my feet wet, back to that real world, getting up early, tired by the end of the day, the kind of life I’m headed back to very shortly. The week was a definite success because all the kids had a fun time, nobody got hurt or lost, and all the parents praised our efforts and hard work. This camp is a definite part of my extended family and I can’t wait to work there again over the summer and see all my friends.

I just looked at the day, and it’s Wednesday. 5 days before I start school. Does that ring a bell for anybody? The day I was diagnosed 7 months ago was also 5 days before I was supposed to be heading off to my first quarter of school. Coincidence? Maybe fate? I move in tomorrow, Thursday, and start on Monday the 31st It’s a little bit scary to know that I will be entering school again, studying, reading, writing…I hope I have some brain cells left! In the past 6 months my idea of normal got drastically switched and as crazy as it sounds, doctors, chemo, sickness, worries start to feel normal. The trick is going to be switching that up and understanding that what I was going through wasn’t really normal, going to school, being a teen, pursuing my dreams is what is actually normal. That is the scariest thought of all. Knowing that what I want is here, but I’m not sure or know how ready I am. My friends and all of the support from my family have helped me so much. As a result of that support, it seems like I realize more and more who I want to be in this world and what I want to do. And I have cancer to thank for that. Sometimes it takes an unfortunate drastic event to alter some body’s life like that and I am grateful for it.

So let me tell you what I have been up to lately: Besides starting school on Monday, a couple weeks ago I took a ridiculously awesome road trip to UC Santa Cruz with my friend Bri to visit all my good friends from high school that have been there for me all along. I had an amazing time. The natural beauty of Santa Cruz and friendly people made the trip wicked awesome. I got to party with my friends and climb a huge tree watching the sunset crest over the ocean. It’s experiences and trips like that that make me so happy I sometimes forget what I have been through, so I thank everybody who made that road trip SICK!

I also did a documentary on the past 6 months of my life. I know it is kind of weird because I didn’t think I would ever do one, or be comfortable with sharing my story, but now knowing that it is over, I am comfortable letting people know what has happened and hopefully I can affect people’s lives in a positive anyway. To make a long story short, my mom has a friend who knows a producer who contacted me and asked me to participate in a huge national T.V. broadcast (documentary) and website promotion that will air in September. It is called SU2C (Stand Up to Cancer). The goal of SU2C is to bring awareness to those not directly affected by cancer, show how research dollars are spent, as well as show daily blogs of scientists’ updates and new developments on cancer. They want people to understand where there money is going. Pretty much what Inconvenient Truth did for global warming; they are hoping this is going to do the same for Cancer. They came to my house and did about 6 hours of shooting. My mom, myself, some close friends, and basically just asked me about my story and the Cuck Fancer dollars I raised. They loved it all. I am going to be doing some video blogs for the website as well. I will let everybody know more details when I know. It is really exciting and I am glad to be a part of something so large.

So even though I will be away at school, I come home April 11th for my final scans, PET, CT, Chest X-Ray, to make sure everything is gone and to just see the wonderful progress my body has made. I then come home the following weekend to remove my port. SO SICK. I can’t wait to get that sucker out so I can be active again. When I get my port out I am hoping to get back into shape to play soccer with AYSO and I am going to Hawaii for a soccer tournament in July. I am so excited! It is going be a 7-day stay and I am going to be playing soccer all week long. But right now I am just focusing on staying healthy, going to school, having fun, and being a teen again.

One last thing: I officially have made a large donation to the Leukemia Lymphoma society. I am still fundraising of course, so any money out there or bands and whatnot, I would appreciate to get sometime soon just because I want to solely focus on school coming up. With everybody’s combined efforts and generous donations we have raised $6102!!!!! I am stunned. My goal was $2000 and we raised three times that amount. I am so happy that I was able to make a solid impact on the cancer world, and hopefully the money will help those who are less fortunate than me. I just want everybody to know, that if anybody EVER needs anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I am here to help. Whether you know somebody who has gotten sick and needs somebody to talk to, or you just want me to pick up your dog shit, I’m there, because without all of you, I know I would not be where I am today. All of you are a solid part of my life, and shaped me into who I am today and I love you all.

I will keep you updated on the scans and school and whatnot, don’t hesitate to call, or email back if you want to talk.

I love you all.

Cancer is my bitch

Cuck Fancer, but love life.

Keep fighting the fight, yours truly

THE MAN (just kidding). Benjamin David Teller.

I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but don’t worry I am still kickin cancer’s ass and makin’ it my bitch. Since my last blog not too much has changed. It’s been the normal routine of chemotherapy. It hasn’t gotten any easier, but I guess I can at least say it has become a routine. I can predict most of the sickness (that seems to stay the same), but the recovery time after chemotherapy is less predictable. Some weeks I’m up and around the next day and then other weeks it seems like I’m down for days. It’s all-good though, 6 more to go. More →

Last Monday I went through a brutal test (brutal because it hurts my shoulders and the fluid I had to drink made me gag and the isotope they injected me with made me nauseas…need I go on?) that lasted 3 hours. I spent 45 min for my CT scan and about 2 hours for my PET scan. Although I’m complaining about it I’ve decided it was well worth because I just got the results back from doctor, results that surprised both my family and I, and pleased my doctor, to the point he wanted to kiss me. There was DRAMATIC change. I am PET negative. Meaning that there is no cancer showing in my PET scan. It is virtually gone. There are still some cells that exist, along with the mass in my chest, but they are microcellular and invisible to the scan. The mass in my chest has shrunken (about half the size it was) and was not even visible in the PET scan because it is no longer active. As I understand it, there are still cancerous cells in my body, but so small they are undetectable. (By the way, for all those who don’t know, a PET scan shows all the hot spots of my cancer) In the CT scan all the lymph nodes shrank dramatically as well. It felt really good to see my mom’s emotional response and know that she and lots of others would be worrying a little bit less about me. For me, I knew we were headed for good news all along, although I’m not quite feeling like celebrating yet because there is four more months of chemo to go. However the news does mean that I am going to have two less cycles of chemo, ending my treatments in April, instead of June. I will be in remission in January, but because of the standard protocol for ABVD (my chemo protocol) I have to have two more cycles of chemo after remission. This is the best possible news for me because the second I can get my life back on track I am going to take full advantage of something. These past 10 weeks have been so surreal and I can’t believe that by January I will be considered in remission. A wild ride for sure. I still have a rough path ahead of me, but I just wanted to thank everybody again for all of the support you have given me these past few months. Without all of you, cancer would not be my bitch; I would be cancer’s bitch. I think we all know which one is better. As for school and everything else, a lot has changed and for right now I think that I’m going to be attending UCI in the spring. Although, nothing is for sure, it’s a one day at time life these days.

With love and appreciation

Ben

P.S. Picture props go to my best friend Ski. Thanks buddy.

Yes, it’s written correctly. Cuck Fancer. I have ordered the bracelets that I have been talking about for a while now and they will say Cuck Fancer. Props to Dylan Campbell for that one. I will get them in a couple weeks so let me know if you are interested in helping me raise some money for Lymphoma and we can work something out. Anyways chemo was interesting this past week. It pretty much sucked. I had new symptoms. When I woke up the next day I was nauseous, which isn’t a big deal with the medication I’ve been given,. but Saturday, 48 hours later, was horrible. I was completely uncomfortable all day. I was achy, feverish, I had lost all feeling in my mouth, my taste buds were shot to shit and it hurt to swallow.  I was way dehydrated and it sucked.  I spent the next day recovering from the previous day and by Monday I had forgotten I had cancer. The whole thing is strange.I think the 24-72 hours after chemo is going to be the worse. After that, I’m just living a normal life. I went last Thursday to get my blood count and it was very high, in the 30 thousands (normal 4-10 thousand). But we figured out through talking with the doctor that my blood count will normally be that high because of the Nupagen (a shot that I take that boosts my white blood count), and it only really matters how high it is on the day of chemo. I can’t really be under two thousand and be given treatment. My first time on Nupagen I had 13,000 white blood cells and on the day of chemo I had 2,800. It drops fast: damn chemo. So check it out: I go to get my blood count last Thursday, and the doctor asked my mom if she had her flu shot, and she said no, so he offered one on the house. I’m thinking wow, he’s so nice, and when he leaves to go get the nurse, my mom curls up into a ball and whimpers, “I almost said no, I hate shots.” O man, you want to know the look that I gave her. The look that says are you fucking kidding me, man up, I have had over 60 shots, in 20 different places, for the past month, and you’re complaining about a flu shot. BABY! Ah did I give her a hard time. But I still love her. She woke me up last Saturday morning, 2 days after chemo and said I got you a surprise, and the first thing I said was “a hooker?” Don’t ask me why, but it wasn’t. ☹ She did get me the new OS for Mac. Maybe better? My Halloween was bomb. I didn’t think I would do anything but I got dressed up as a nerd and went out and partied with the rest of my friends. Before the last round of chemo I drove up to Santa Barbara for a night and hung out with some close friends that I hadn’t seen in awhile and had a really good time. It’s hard to believe I have cancer sometimes because I am living such a normal life. In fact I just signed up for a winter class at Pierce College: Linguistics. It seems interesting and it is a 5-week crash course over winter break. I will follow that by a heavier load in the spring. Don’t worry guys, this shit will come together and my brain won’t go to complete mush with all the T.V.  I’m watching. Just to be sure I’m reading Lance Armstrong’s book, It’s not about the bike. It’s truly inspiring and really interesting. The Lakers just started their season and football is heating up like my head the day after chemo. I love it. Thanks again to everyone for your support. I fucking love all of you.

(I would say the Jewish Mr. Clean, but I haven’t lost my hair yet, wtF?!)

Yours truly, Makin’ Cancer my bitch,

Ben

2 weeks down….32 more to go. Ha trust me, it isn’t that bad. If these
past 2 weeks are any indication of what I have to go through this shit
isn’t going to be half what I thought. After chemo I woke up nauseous
on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday but with heavy anti-nausea drugs I was
out partying that night; no joke.  I don’t know, maybe come 2 or 3
more cycles the drugs might hit me harder, but for now I will take
what I can get. I woke up Monday feeling so much better. I was eating,
consistently, which as we all know made my mom the happiest Jewish
mother alive. The week didn’t go by to slow, I remember just writing
to everybody last Thursday. I have picked up a few things to make the
time go by. Like T.V., and uh T.V., and…sleep…and T.V. Just playin.
There is a book or two somewhere in there. I went to the doctor today
and my white blood count is way up, partly because of the daily
injections I take after chemo for 7 days, but mostly because I am
healthy, and my hemoglobin (red) count is much higher as well. WOO
HOO, that is music to my ears. So for now, this week, I get to live a
normal life, putting this cancer way in the back of my mind. If
everything goes accordingly I am going to register at pierce in the
spring and take some courses so I wont fall too far behind. That will
be pretty cool, I guess. Couple classes online, some at the school, it
will work out. I have to come to realize a lot of different aspects to
life. I am so fortunate to have the support that I have. If every
cancer patient had one tenth what I have they’d be chillin like I am.
Every time you guys call, text, email, visit, it means so much to me
and I can’t stress that enough. Lets keep it up, like I said only 32
more weeks to go.  Because of all the support I have I am going to try
to raise money for the lymphoma society. I am going to custom make
lance Armstrong bracelets, but with my own saying. I mean I can go the
simple route and come up with a word like STRENGTH, or POSITIVITY, but
it might be more interesting to come up with my own saying such as
F@!# Cancer, or the Jewish Mr. Clean. Tell me what you guys think. So
far, the Jewish Mr. clean is looking pretty good. I love this
baldness. The beautiful round shape of my head brings such confidence
to my look. Not to be arrogant, but come on, throw a cancer patient a
bone. One more thing: I have been trying new looks, tell me what you
think. There is Rastafarian Ben, Thug Ben, Tiger Ben, and Disco Ben.

Thanks for the support guys, I love all of you.

The Jewish Mr. Clean

P.S. Fuck Cancer

Day 1: Infusion Room¬¬

So I woke up at 6 30 from only 3 hours of sleep. What did you expect? A full night of rest before a day of unexpected craziness? I took a nice long shower and washed my hair nice and long…because as we all know, what was once the Jew fro or the beautiful GQ cut will be more like Dr. Evil BALD cut. So I went this morning and shaved it…and let me tell you guys I am the Jewish Mr. Clean, I am the ultimate bald 18 year old, it’s weird. I guess I took for granted my hair, because damn it keeps you warm. But beanies look good, more normal looking than not. I wonder if I will keep my facial hair? The manliness of me must stay alive throughout all of this. So after I cut my hair I went to the doctors…or as we say the INFUSION ROOM. They said “keep your back straight, this needle needs your resistance.” They were sticking the needle in my port. (Most of you know, but the port is where I am going to receive my chemo and where I will get my blood drawn every Thursday). Well they missed; the port is “positional.” How lame…a lot of pain, but I sucked it up and did it again. The chemo went pretty well. I didn’t really see anybody although there were many people in there, which is probably to my benefit. I have an outlet, with my laptop, and a funny nurse where we can talk about how crazy Heidi Montag and Britney Spears are. Or maybe how wack Ryan Sheckler’s dads’ girlfriend is. So after a pretty good four in a half hour chemo treatment (I know kind of oxymoronic) I came home and crashed. Two hours GONE! I woke up kind of nauseas and lightheaded: but those are mild side effects to ones that could be occurring. I feel like a camel in the Sahara desert: I’m that thirsty! But once again that is normal. That is all for now. I will be going back in next Thursday to get my blood drawn to see if my white blood count is up, if it is…I expect to see all of you ☺. Well at your leisure. Then in 2 weeks…we do it again. For 8 months. My intention is to get this email to everybody so if you know somebody that I didn’t email this to, please forward it to them, and all of you are welcome to email me back, or call, or visit.

Be positive and raise your glass to kicking Hodgkin’s in the ass

With love,
Ben aka Romeo

P.S. Fuck Cancer (See Photo)